The decision was easy. (Well, kind of.) We know were done having kids. We’re very happy and satisfied with our two precious girls. But removing my uterus is a very final decision.
It has caused me nothing but pain and problems for 20 years… letting it go should be easy.
My body is a funny thing (I have to try and find some humor in all this). Today I think I’ve seen every baby commercial that has been on tv. As the tears welled up in my eyes,
“Am I doing the right thing? This is such a final decision” the pain started.
It started in my lower back (as it usually does) and slowly creeped around to my middle. As the sharp pains are stabbing my stomach and tears are streaming down my face I know I HAVE NO CHOICE. My body is sending my every sign and signal.
I can’t spend the rest of my life wondering what if, why me and when. I am having this surgery at 33 years of age to regain my life. I have spent more of my life in pain than pain free. I am typing this with two heating pads wrapped around me. I want to know what it’s like to be me… pain free.
How long will I mourn the loss of what makes me a woman? Will I ever be able to hold a friends baby without wondering what if?
In precious time my emotional and physical scars will heal.
One thing I have learned-is that in time I will heal.
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